its finally here

senior year,

I've worked so hard to get here. i hope i dont screw it up now.

1st day of school, some are stressed, some dont care, and some just want to get it over with. im falling in the "dont care" category.

I guess i understand a little bit why some people are stressed... but all they'll do is look back and be like... oh the 1st day of school ill hardly remember that... but i remember before that when i was freaking out big time! lol i understand for a few people mainly

the i dont care category... its just another day for me. lol. i guess its a lot easier seeing how im a senior... this is my 3rd high school ive been too... and really... if i go to like a wrong classroom or whatever... what the most that will happen? some people i dont really talk to might chuckle... nothing too much.

the last category, just wanting to get it over with, thats cool... but man. haha it gets harder from here! :D

so its my senior year. do i have anything big planned out after? nah..... maybe go to roane state if that... my grades have never been good enough to get anywhere out side of highschool. heck! ive hardly made it this far in school! lol. schools ... its not really ... i guess my thing.... people say i have talents in just about everything i do. ... ... ... hah i dont see it in the schooling department at all.... which is actually what would be the best thing actually. i wish i could give up a talent i have to be better at school... one that i dont use. maybe i can pray that God will change it. ill give up baseball, i never do that anymore...

well i think i've rambled enough. i killed 10 minutes... my uncle woke me up at 5:30! :( that jerk. AND HE WAS LIKE... "G.D. DAVID GET UP ALREADY!" im like what the heck are you talking about its still dark. he said he tried to get me up a half hour before that... haha

YES I LOVE THIS PLACE! :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D waking up to cussing! woot.

well yeah i just hope for the best to everyone this year, and i hope everyone has an enjoyable year!

maybe

today things will get better all around for me...

time to get some papers from the court house! woo!

when my sister was little and watched barney...

she would say, "Sharing is caring."

i think in this world there are more ways to show you care than to share a stuffed animal like my sister always wanted haha

but i think with a lot of people... it would help them if you actually did share with them that you did care... and if some one did something nice for you, then show them you do care for what they did for you. its always nice knowing that you have some one thinking of you.

i know i like it a lot at least.

i guess i was really optimistic about things...

so i said i was going to try to be more motivated for god, myself, and blah blah blah... but man... some times its just freaking hard! haha

i wish people would share the way they felt, just so i know they actually do care...

maybe i dont share enough about how much i care...

haha goes back to the i wonder blog i posted! hahahah one of the many "i wonders" i was going to put

yeah that last part was pointless.

any one care to share what they think?

motovayctian

motivation

what a word....
what this world needs..
what people need day by day.

but what really motivates people?

i told some one i was looking for a new job, but i dont have the motivation because i know ill just get tired of that one too. and they said your motivation should be money. but why money? why this cloth/paper bill? why not do something i enjoy and get the money too! :D or better yet? why not do something good for not only myself but for people around me? why not try to do something for god even!?

in psalms ... something it says
my soul finds rest in God alone: my salvation comes from him.

so why cant i find peace with god and get the motivation knowing that theirs always worse.

or like i heard kara say, "...people say they haven't really had anything good since they became a Christian. but they're forgetting the big picture, heaven. "

why cant i motivate myself to get out of bed and be like, another great day God made for me!

instead im like ugh its friday... i have to work ... man todays going to suck...

lately, i've been seeing the negative or down...some one said something to me tonight, its been told to me by that person a few times by that person... "you've just seemed down lately..."

so GUESS WHAT!? its time to turn things around! :) im starting today off with a good note! :D even though i think the popcorn i had at the movies made my stomach a bit upset! haha but besides the possibility of me throwing up. things are going to go better. why?

BECAUSE I SAID SO

:D
C:

haha

i hope everyone has an OPTIMISTIC day :)


p.s.

:|
|:
:|
|:

i hope she gets it ;D haha

i wonder...

.

so things have been going good for me as of late. i can feel god moving in me. the mission trips coming up. kara and i are doing good :) my parents come up today. its summer. works going a lot better now that im an "assistant manager". one more year of school to go. just things are going good for me!!

just one problem... i think im overwhelming myself and thinking to optimistic... my aunt and uncle are having some MAJOR problems i found out. it was actually quite obvious to see it... but i over looked it and thought things were going just fine.

whatever though... thats a whole nother subject.

things are good :)

so the mission trips in a 2 days.... i really cant wait! im so excited for it! no one in my family understands whats so exciting about it though... but whatever haha

my 1st mission trip... it'll hopefully be a wonderful experiance for me. i hope to learn a lot with this and i hope to grow closer to god and the people in my church.... im really really looking forward to this :D

so my parents and little sisters coming up today! im soooo excited for that too!! their only staying up till sunday and ill be leaving friday morning but still my sister stays up for a month and a half or something like that... good things are happening. i just hope it stays this up beat for a while!

only problem is .. i know a few people who arent doing too well right now... and i just want them to know im here and i'll be praying about everything thats happening... i feel bad for posting blogs saying how happy i am... maybe i shouldnt... :/


"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
Martin Luther King Jr.

faksdjtlkj

things have been going pretty good for me here of late... im really liking this :)



Matthew 25:21
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

family...

.... yes my family ... touchy subject... but something happened tonight that just makes me wanna run away and live with some one i can trust... sad to say

but here i go

so i might have told some of you about my mother.... how when i was 8 she got arrested for meth... of course i didnt know it at the time. and then when we moved out to georgia she got addicted to cocaine and i found out she was smoking weed all my life and yeah... that made me go crazy because i hate drugs and i have all my life ... but that was the cause of me moving up here... my mom soon got arrested for cocaine... well she got out by going to drug court after some time in jail. she said she cleaned up her act and what not. well i got down there the summer after n i found out my dad was smoking weed along with my mom... and extra drama and drunkedness included..... just annoying stuff i grew up with sadly....

well anyways i came up to tennessee to get rid of the stupid crap that my parents did all my life and start new you know? well haha i guess i moved in with the wrong people to get away from that... i started going to church... my aunt tried to convince me there was no god.... and how it was made up by the government to control people easier with believes put into their heads... my uncle always uses the church against me saying god wont clean my room or give me a paycheck and other stupid stuff like that...

well come to find out really soon my aunt and uncle also have a nice little habit of having one to many drinks... and they always come home a little on the drunk side... im not going to say what all has happened... cause that would take to long ...

my aunt i found out also smokes weed.... isnt that just freaking hilarious!? man what kind of mess do i get myself into!?

well yeah my uncle came home drunk today... and went off on my aunt and broke a whole bunch of things (including my grandmas 5000$ table she got from her mom who passed away like 9 months ago)

soon after that he decided to throw my cousin out... and yeah said luckily i have a job or else id be in the same position...


but why do i have to deal with this ALL my life? why cant i just run away and live with some one i can trust? why the crap do i have to put up with the stupidity of elders?!? how am i supposed to learn how i need to be if i cant even see any good in them. i learn off the bad but still! why do i have to learn that way!?!? im so freaking over it


Job 6:8
"Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for

africa

people at work today were talking about how americas getting ready for another depression... i hope not, but i was working and not really listening and then some guy named john clark said something about africa. i turned my head and he was like YEAH when i was in the army i was out in africa serving our country and you wanna talk about poor look at those savages! they're so F****** hungry but what do they do to help them selfs! all they do is f*** and fight with one another! everytime i went through a small town and see the flys land on the kids i would bust up laughing! ... ... i couldnt stand it anymore and i just went off... i told him its not the womens fault the soldiers rape them and its not the kids faults theirs war everyday taking place! its not their fault they dont have food like we do. its not their fault they weren't blessed like we are! he just sat there and said... i dont care what you say... this is how i feel. but yeah... long story short he kept pressing the issue on to me later and was saying how its stupid celebrities are helping out kids in other countries and adopting them when we have kids in america who are poor and cant feed them selfs... which is true but... idk just people make me mad...

i really want to go to africa... experience it for myself...

Psalm 9:18
But the needy will not always be forgotten, nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

well..

it sucks when you feel your self slipping away from god. Whats worse is I know I am and im not doing a thing about it. prayers have gone out the door for the most part. my bible sits lonely beside my bed... Im in the "im sorry god i promise ill change... but give me a minute" phase. Maybe thats why a lot isnt going as smooth as it once was? or maybe this huge bump is causing me to fly off track... who knows ........ hopefully once school lets out, ill have a lot less stress...

john p. talked last night about futures... our jobs and everything... man how i wanted to be a pro baseball player in the 5th grade... i like thinking back to those times and being COMPLETELY clueless to the surroundings around me... but anyways i really want to be helping out the IC program as a lot of you know... but is it right? idk... at least i've got another year to think about it right? i really wanna be like ....... in some 3rd world country doing something... or in Canada... lol random but i bet you it'd be peaceful! thats what i thought about tennessee though when i came out here in 7th grade (exactly where im living now, oh the irony) for a family reunion...

light of the world, you step down into darkness
opened my eyes, let me see.

ah the wonders of his ever lasting love lol. i wish he could just open my eyes again. just to show me what im supposed to do... no one knows with what but my gosh it'd be wonderful to live with them again...


James 1:5-6 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. James 1:5-6

some things

wow... its been a few weeks... but yeah...

so last night i was at work and all the sudden i see a guy walking down the road... im like .. whos this guy? he was staring at us working so i waved and he waved and went on by.... i take a glance at him as hes walking away and he had a sign on his back. "Walking from New York to California. i was just like... wow... thats crazy! so yeah... today im driving home and all the sudden i see this guy again! im like wow whats the odds. so i pull over ask him what all hes doing and he said what he was doing was proving that Americas still the best country in the world and that when he was a child he was told that his generation (Hannah Moore) was going to be the most destructive and war filled generation. and he wants to prove that theirs still hope for everyone and ... i honestly dont know what that has to do with walking across America. but anyway to raise awareness right!? i gave him a few bucks and yeah i guess something on the sign i missed was that he had a website. its paintatlas.com check it out if you have some time. his names Hakim and i just wanna share that info with you... lol actually if we woulda had the car wash today he would have walked by cause i met him right infront of that store!

walking for awareness .... what a concept...

i wish more people would get off their butts some times...

Mark 10:27 "...With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God."

rable rable....

so todays been an all around good day. this whole week has been actually....

wednesday was another good church day. i really thought over what john said. hes a smart guy... but its kinda common sense when you really think about it... haha and then i had fun at sonic that night... i wonder if mark ever got mara back.... lol....

the weathers been absolutely amazing.... i finally can walk around trails now and not have to worry about freezing... but i do have to worry about allergies! D: darn them... lol

my grandmas recovering from surgery. so thats good that she made it out alive! :D


schools been going great so far! just wish i could stay awake for 3 days straight and not be tired... then all my work would be caught up lol


but with some positives their are negatives...

my 9 year old sisters acting more like shes 16... :/ saying she hates her life and she hates my mom and dad. she said she was going to run away from home (on her bike...) my parents told me she wouldnt listen to them... so i had to calm her down a bit... and the reason was...... A BOY! YES A BOY! she was dating a little boy who broke up with her... i guess my sister broke his favorite blue crayon!? not really BUT WHAT ELSE WOULD BE THE PROBLEM AT THE AGE OF NINE!? freaking societies making kids feel like they need to date one another. my sister told me her "friends'' made FUN of her cause that boy she dated was her FIRST boyfriend! and she snuck it behind my parents back too... laksdjflkasdjf makes me so mad.... oh how that frustrates me...

so yeah.. and i got a paycheck of only 75$ ... lol 50 goes into car insurance 25 goes to gas... that 25 gave me ALMOST a half a tank!

whats left for me?... oh well something else i realized...

money corrupted the human mind to a standpoint where theirs no going back... a lot of us forgot whats really important in life... people work long hours all day to make as much money as they can... most people worship money more than anything, more then god.... the government is in debt 9,411,641,971,178.49.....THATS 9 TRILLION DOLLARS!!! how did we do this to our society!? its just getting worse everyday... i work my butt off for an hour to get what? 5.85.. let me transfer that 5 dollars (due to taxes i lost the extra 85 cents) into gas and receive a gallon and a half... as i do that i think to my self... why do i bother? you know i mean its getting to a point where its getting so ridiculous... almost pointless.... im about to go freaking old school... like indian style and not even worry about any transportation and walk every where... we've taken stuff gods given the earth and sell it for our OWN profit. i mean i know god gave it to us to use and consume. idk but what we do and should do with that money that came from selling gods gift to us is completely different things... if we donated at least 10% to the churches... man.... think of what could happen to this world! but no... we dont do crap... and think of the homeless people that dont eat cause they dont have MONEY to buy food with. all the kids in africa who dont have MONEY so they're going to live with a life of poverty. isnt that horrible!? isnt that sick!? what have we done to ourselfs!? we lost the true meaning of life...

just something i realized here recently... sorry...

well i got some good news now...
invisible children finally emailed me back! :D

Hi David,

Thank you so much for your email and willingness to get involved. There are so many ways. Awareness is our greatest need. Feel free to use our logos and media to tell as many people about what is going on. You would be the best judge of what your community needs are and using your network to spread this movement. I think that is different for everyone but the cool thing about IC is that it allows you to use your own unique talents and interests to take action and affect positive change. Maybe you’re interested in art or film or writing or politics…. The possibilities are endless. The important thing is to have fun with it. Be EMPOWERED to spread awareness and the story of Invisible Children. Let this story and the amazing work our generation is doing, have just as important a change in your own life, as in the lives of others; both locally and around the world. We would also definitely love to hear from you in our job or internship opportunities so based on where you are at regarding availability, interests and personally, look for the position you feel called to and apply. We update our jobs section regularly. Currently we have roadie internships (unpaid) and a few on staff positions on the horizon. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Keep up the great work!

Thank you so much,

Lindsay Whelchel

Invisible Children

man how i wish i could just go to school and work for them... that would be simply amazing... i cant wait till next year... :D

well i watched the green mile last night... 1st time ever... yes im not a movie guy....
and it also made me realize how sad this world really is...

John Coffey: He kill them wi' their love. Wi' their love fo' each other. That's how it is, every day, all over the world.

sad but true... think of the kids in uganda that have to watch their own mothers get killed right in front of them...



ah man... lets see what verse(s) i can end this whole ramble off with....

perfect...

Ephesians 3:16-3:18

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through the spirit in your inner being. so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. and i pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of god."

some gnarly thoughts

ok SO todays kinda been a drag. got some major low points here today! :D

so i guess it started with me getting 2 hours of sleep and .... yeah just thats not good to be running off of for a full day. then going to sunday school and seeing people asleep everywhere kinda made me mad cause heres a guy thats had as much sleep or less then everyone else thats teaching us how to get closer to god. i mean i would understand if you left the room and slept but ... just sleeping right in front of him probably made him think that his lesson wasnt as good as he thought. The lesson John talked about today was about parents.... Personally i dont like talking about the whole parent thing. theres only really one thing that makes me laugh when i think of my parents... john hill knows what im talking about. but i love my parents to death but theirs just so many issues that went on in my life with them in my past... just... long stories for another day maybe. but anyways they've changed their ways luckily. but yeah so john was talking about that and i know its a touchy subject for more than me in the youth room... sadly... cause i know parents can be really lame some times and i know theirs a lot of people in the world that hate their parents just because they want to fit in with a select group of friends...even though their moms nice and everything... idk random(gnarly) thoughts. but yeah. that was this morning

then i go home start studying for my government test and everything cause i gotta make it up tuesday. maybe pass one of those test for once... but so i was studying. then i get a phone call. its my cousin asking if her and my ex could come over to play guitar hero. im like... omg... how awkward. i mean.... it might be a bit better if all the crap didnt have to happen when we broke up.... another story for another day.... so yeah she comes over here and im sitting there thinking... wow sound of music starts at 2 and its 1... i already thought about going but my ex being there just topped it off. so i go and im about to walk down stairs and i look in the living room and my ex is there and gave me an evil look. im like wow... ok so i keep walking then i hear TEHEHEHEH i cant believe i dated that guy!

ugh ... ex's....

soooo i go to sound of music... nice 3 hour get away for anyone that wants one. i really enjoyed it. its definitely worth seeing. but anyways i was still going on 2 hours of sleep through out the play and ill admit one time at the starting the nuns were singing and i was out for like 2 secs. woo . 2 hours and 2 seconds of sleep now! but it got better as it went on and i was more focused and everything about what was happening

so i leave there, i pick alec up, then go to church. i walk in the door and i hear a voice... a voice i havent heard in weeks... maybe months... i look and theirs savanna... (a family friends daughter) shes like 11... soooooo freaking loud and wont shutup. so annoying. and i know this is bad for me to say about an 11 year old but... holy cow.... but yeah valarie had to watch her... soo... we all assemble for youth group and we had 4 new people show up! im like woah awesome! :D. but that definitely wasnt my thought later on. john couldnt make it so phil and mellinda had to fill his place. and i mean i love those 2 people. they're awesome and everything. but i found out that none of the youth except for a select few respects them or what they have to say. about 5 people showed up late. and we had to pull in a chair or 2. so it was packed and we had a lot of kids there. i mean the more the marrier right? HAH not this time. half the time no one was listening... ok more like 3/4ths of the time no one was listening... everyone talked with out respect or caring about what some one was trying to say while raising their hand and just everyone tried throwing their point out againts the other peoples just to get an argument going. WELL... i know that church isnt a debate class. or it wasnt last time i checked. so idk what that crap was all about... but i really didnt like it and i didnt like how we treated our guest. me included. i shoulda been more out going even though i was mad at people for being lame and everything. so later on we were walking up to the other building and i saw something that just really made me sadish/madish... upsets a better word. but yeah thats something else. just made me realize how careless our youth really is when we're all together as a whole... blah. but so we were walking up there and i didnt see alec or alexis go up ... so i figured they're a bit behind. so i go up there. everyone was getting ready to worship and i go to the bathroom i come out go in the sanctuary and come to find alec and alexis were gone... so i go outside and they're out there. they said they were talking and i asked what about. alexis said nothing and alec walked by with a smirk on his face. kinda made me really mad. cause i learned usually that means they're talking about me. which i later found out they were.

so after church everyones like oh david are you going to buddies!? but i had to take that annoying savanna girl to my house so her mom could get her... so i couldnt go. and the whole way there that girl was freaking getting on my nerves. wouldnt listen to me. wouldnt shutup wouldnt stop turning off my radio and like she said she'd rather listen to rap than Christan stuff. so i turned up that crap as loud as i could and man... that little girl gets loud. but yeah...... to say in the least i could have killed her if it was about a 30 minute drive rather than 15...

so i get home and im petting my dog right next to my aunt and uncles door. i say hey to them and my uncles like your a man now say hello. im like hello SIR!! got yelled at for that. then he asked what i had in my hand. i told him i had my government book and my bible. at his angle the bible was behind the gov. book and he said ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE THAT BIBLE FROM ME!? YOU NEED TO STUDY GOV. NOT THE BIBLE! and went off a bit longer about how the church wont do my school work and yadda yadda and im becoming a man so i should act like it. then he yells at me for having a glass in my bedroom and says that im no longer aloud to drink in my room. and idk im sitting here thinking wow... these people dont really give a crap about me... lol whatever... but yeah whatever. so i started playing guitar. OHHHH MAN! what was i thinking!? hahaha guitar at 8:30!?!?!? gotta be kidding me! it was too loud (i literally have no walls just sheets) and so i got yelled at for that and told i couldnt do anyting for a few days. i have nothing planned till church Wednesday. so i think im good lol.

haha then crap on aim..... WOO man!!!!!!!!! DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA!!!!

blah.

plus all this on 2 hours of sleep

so whoever took the time to read ALL of this i just wanna say thank you cause i needed to get it out. cause its 11:09... and im still going off 2 hours of sleep haha. woo... but everyone have a good safe week. and remember...

luke 10:27 - "... love the lord your god with all your heart and soul and with your strength and with all your mind...

goodnight

bring on the learning experience

well im going back to school :D really happy about that but yeah........ its kinda weird how it happened. i guess its really cool though



ok so this is how it all kinda happened....

i was going to all my classes getting grades and turning in books and all that stuff and i was getting kinda sad you know?
so i had to go to the library and have Mrs. Olmsted check off that i didnt owe anything to the school and what not. so she looks at the paper... and saw all my classes were passing besides english and she looks at me and was like... why are you getting your g.e.d.? in a tone like ... what the crap are you doing? for some reason my eyes started to get watery. and i told her what the schools been doing and she said ... well thats the 1st i heard about it. and she said lets go to the office and talk to the guidance councilors about it. and i was like... :/ eh... ok... and so we went and she asked why they were doing all this to these kids and why they werent caring at all for the kids and mr plemons said hey im all for the kids graduating, this all falls upon mr. dill than ms king said well hes coming from the point of view that david would be a 5th year graduate and by the looks of things he'll have to be taking 2 Englishes and possible 2 maths and credit recovery. thats the 1st i heard about all that. so ms king says he doesnt have to get his g.e.d. no ones making him. i sat there thinking wow... what a liar. but than they left me with the decision about what i should do. and i have until tomorrow to figure it out

so... as of now... Mrs. olmsteds my favorite and the weird thing is... i havent talked to her at all really since ive been up here... it was really cool though what she did...

btw i am going to go back to roane county high so im going to really have to work my butt off next year. and i mean i know i cant do this by my self, i get down too easily about my school work so im asking whoever reads this to please please please make sure i keep up with my work. make sure i do it. make sure i dont get myself down if i fail a test. i just need some help.

but thank you everyone whos prayed about everything and thank you people for your support :D it means a heck of a lot to me.

David

here we go.

as some of you may know, maybe some forgot or whatever, but today was my last day of school. had some interesting moments... but all in all i guess it was a decent day of school. now is the fun part though. going to mid town educational center to get my g.e.d.... I've been contemplating on what to do from their. People told me a lot of suggestions that kinda interested me to a certain extent. i wasn't sure what i wanted to do. Than Saturday at the concert john hill suggested something that really interested me... he suggested i could do something with the invisible children program. i thought a bout it sunday and i really liked the idea. so last night i e-mailed them asking for some information (thanks to those who read my e-mail and helped out) about what all i could do in the job field they have going on. they have job openings in San Diego. if i did try to get a job with ic than i possibly would go out there. ive been there plenty of times when i lived in California... but i would hate to leave everyone and everything i have out here... idk it would be tough, but hey they might not even hire me so yeah. Kinda reminds me of that scripture, John 3:27 - To this john replied, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven..." so if its god will, I'll receive the opportunity he has given me and do what i can with it.


and on another note i got a text from my friend not too long ago... i guess one of my friends in california died due to drug overdose...blah... so if whoever reads this could pray for jordan vaccas family that would be greatly appreciated.

thank you, David

your strength, your sacrafice

hello god can you hear me?
what am i going to do?
i need your strength to compel me
it seems the last thing i have is you
im backed into a corner
things attacking from left and right
i really dont know what else to do
lately ive been to weak to fight

i need you jesus
more now then ever
wrap me in your light
hold me close to you. forever

god your in control
i want you to be my life
forgive me from the sins ive commited
remove this strife
so lord as im starving for you
i want you to show me what you can do
drive me in the right direction
before your will ill stay true

i need you jesus
more now then ever
wrap me in your light
hold me close to you. forever

god show me how
oh lord at your feet ill bow
guide me throught the good and the bad
help me now cause your all that i have

oh god im as broken as ive ever been
lord i need you to come in
i thank you for your sacrifice
now to you i give my life

Hello god can you hear me?
i now know what i need to do
your strength has compeled me
one thing ill always have is you

-David Jamison

yeah i wrote that not to long ago. really how i felt about my life at that time i was really having a tough time with everything going on. and i know i still will but i know if i trust god and i pray, he'll guide me.

i dont know what he has in plan for me honestly, but i feel more faith through everything thats been happening. ive been involved more at church and ive gotten closer to people in my youth that ive been wanting to for a while and im loving it. I dont know what god has in store for me with after i get my g.e.d. though... :/ but i know if i pray and focus on him more ill see what i should do.